Tales of the Great Wolf

January marked our family's quasi-annual trip to Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls, and this time, it was personal. For several years, we'd been going now, thanks in large part to a discounted rate from my then- and again current-employer, but this was the first time we'd be going for two nights instead of one. Especially now that the kids were getting old enough to do partake in a fuller range of activities and still have energy to keep going right up until the water park closed and kicked us out, we figured it would actually be worth the investment to extend our stay. This way, we had time to take full advantage of the water slides and wave pool, and the kids could also run around and play MagiQuest, an augmented reality game (ARG) set up across the hotel, where children could wave their magic wands at various objects, collect gold and artifacts, slay magical beasts, and in general, go on an epic fantasy adventure, the type of thing that would have been right up my ally as a kid. Definitely just as a kid.

Our Great Wolf Lodge bad weather curse held true, as the drive down was hindered by torrential rains and low visibility, pushing back the itinerary by a couple hours (that coupled with having to go back for the bag with all of our swim suits, the one thing we forgot to take with us to a *checks notes* water park). Still, our spirits couldn't be dampened. Not even by our room, which was located about as far from the water park as one could possibly get. Nonetheless, we soldiered on through the additional physical activity, and made the most of our time there, getting into the water park early, and camping out as late as possible, the morning and evening being the two times when the lines were shortest, and the only limit to the number of runs we could get in was limited only by how fast we could run back up the stairs.

The Woolly Mammoth is always our inaugural ride, as per family tradition. Hurtling down a giant, plastic, orange tunnel in plastic tube definitely helps to get the energy level up. Especially at night, when the temperature drops, as the ride extends outside the heated confines of the main building, things get a little chilly. This year, the kids were not only tall enough, but also had built up their swimming proficiency to the point were A) they could go on all of the rides and B) we didn't have to worry about them drowning (as much) which meant that C) the kids could sometimes go off and do their own thing, which means that Jodie and I could get a bit of a break and enjoy some of the rides ourselves.

The Niagara River Rapids was another favourite of ours. With the help of some pretty fast-moving conveyor belts, the ride was a cross between a water slide and a roller coaster, and usually you can get some decent speed, and at least in one spot, get some air off of the track. It was a far cry from a couple of years ago when my daughter just about cried after I forced her to go on the ride with me.

I still couldn't convince any of my family to go on the Wolf Tail, though. It's a single person ride, and starts with a near vertical drop, as the floor literally drops out from under you. It ends with a nose full of water, or at least it does the first time, after which you quickly learn to either plug your nose or hold your breath. It's undoubtedly the fastest ride in the place, and there's still just enough of a preservation of fear that subsequent rides are still a bunch of fun, fun that my chicken family so far refuses to partake in. We got everybody on a bunch of roller coasters last summer at Wonderland, so I'm still holding out hope that I can convince at least one of them to join me at some point.

The Vortex, which looks like a giant toilet bowl, is another ride the family enjoyed, especially as late on Friday night with very few people around, the teenager running the thing was letting people go down backwards. That ride you can use the double tube (looks like a giant number 8), and my daughter and I opted to try it backwards one time, which did actually add to the fun. We did find out the next day when we asked to go backwards again, that it actually wasn't allowed, so I guess a shout out to that intrepid young man who was willing to sacrifice passenger safety to help make family memories. Truly you are doing the good lord's work.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention the food, which is part of the tradition as well. Somehow, for some reason, Great Wolf Lodge has developed a recipe for amazing chicken wings, which are half of the reason I'm so eager to go in the first place. Sitting around, eating pizza and chicken wings that are third to none, watching old reruns of Who's the Boss? on a hotel TV as you gas up for the next round of water park shenanigans, those are memories that money can't buy. Or, I guess they're exactly the kind of memories that money can buy, if we're being technical. And buy those memories, we did. And for a not insubstantial amount of money. Especially factoring in the buffet, which is definitely worth its weight in toilet paper, and which never fails to make me stuff myself juuuuuuust past the point of being comfortable enough to function like a normal human being.

Overall, we had a great time, and my daughter, who's turning twelve next month, was still young enough to enjoy everything, but as with all good things, the Great Wolf Lodge tradition may be coming to an end. Considering the age of the children, the size and variety of rides, and the price (even with the discount), this year may have been our last hurrah at the Lodge, though time will tell. If it was our last ride with the Great Wolf, then it was a good one, and the weather on the ride home was perfect.